Diary of a frustrated mom
Well, like you probably read on my bio,I’m the typical kind of stay at home mom. Before I had my babies,i was already familiar with parenting schools and styles,I had a much younger sister that I was responsible for and I knew it wasn’t easy. Then after being pregnant,I started reading Dr.spock’s book about how to raise your child and how to get them to listen to you and how to bond with your kids and create a safe and loving environment for them.I was trying to figure out how to not make the same mistakes my mom and many more moms did, they really educated us well, raised us on good manners and self-respect, but there was always a missing piece when it came to bonding, or teaching you how to love yourself and cherish it, how to not need other people to feel good about yourself.Don’t get me wrong I don’t blame my mom, she really did her best,and now that I’m a mom myself,I totally get it. What I wanna say is that I tried to know all the keys and clues to raising an emotionally healthy child,a successful child. I did my researches, took notes,saved ebooks and videos on my phone .I was well prepared to be the perfect mom to a perfect kid, or so I thought.
After having my first kid,it was a really hard time, I mean seeing is believing for sure, lots and lots of sleepless nights, a world of unfinished chores, delayed tasks, headaches ,frustration and lonliness. The worst thing about the first few months of motherhood was lonliness,the feeling that you’re on your own here, you got to figure it out cos no one can do it for you.yeah,mothering your first baby is really hard, but worth every single second.
Aside from the physical and mental effort you exert, the first few months of your newborn’s life doesn’t really need much parenting effort, as all you need to do to bond with your baby is to cuddle him,talk to him and make him feel safe and loved. A thing you naturally do because he’s adorable and you just wanna keep hugging him forever.
The real challenge comes after that,in the toddler years up to teen years,in my case I got pregnant in my daughter and had her by my son’s 2nd birthday. It was crazy then, no time for anything,no time for myself, my social life,my work that I started by then,nothing. The day would just begin and end without any achievement what so ever,all I did was to feed and bathe and do laundry,cook and run after my toddler so he won’t hurt his sister. There was no time for my marital life,no time to read for my kids,to play with them, to talk to them. I was just trying to pass the day without casualties, but not really accomplishing anything.
I found out that even though I knew exactly what I needed to do, I just couldn’t do it, either cos I really didn’t have the time to, or cos I was just too frustrated to do it.
Now that my kids are 8 and 6,i discovered that in order to give your children all the things you wanna give them in life,you need to work hard and run all day long, and still not finish all your tasks .I also found out that if you alone handle all the aspects related to your kids, then it’s really hard to be calm around them.My husband comes home from work at night, and he leaves early in the morning, that way,he only gets to play with the kids,nothing else.
So here I am,with all my theories and my hopes in one hand,and my real life in the other.For a long time,I felt I was a terrible mom,for not being able to give my kids what I wanted to give them,for not being able to play with them much,or to be calmer around them. But then I sat with myself and came to the conclusion that I love my kids,I do,and they know they are loved, I tell them that many times a day. I kiss them,hug them,talk to them about anything and everything . I accept them for who they are, I let them be themselves and I teach them good
manners, compassion and acceptance to all those who are different. I might screw up in many other aspects related to them, but if my kids turned out to be only that,kind, compassionate and accepting ,then that’s enough for me, i did my job.
So if you’re in my shoes right now, please take a deep breath and look at your beautiful kids, if they’re kind and compassionate, then you did a great job. So just ignore all the comments you get from other moms about how you should be, and be proud of yourself. For one simple act of kindness can really change the world.
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