28 Jul 76 0  

That question pops into every girl’s mind in a toxic relationship. We always feel we’re running a loop we can’t escape. It takes time and preparations to end a toxic relationship, and it always has to be gradual so that you can stand your ground and never look back no matter how many times you are asked back.

And since you asked yourself such a question, you have to know that you can make it out now that you realize the density and amount of harm you are going through, with no excuses whatsoever.

The step are as follows:

Use a pen and a paper to write down all the memorable situations that you both have been through together, good ones and bad ones, the ones that hurt you and broke you, as well as those that swept you off your feet. So your mind can grasp the fact that this is the same person, not two different people. Write down as many as you can, in any way or style, even if you are scribbling. Putting it on paper would help you become aware that the same person puts you through good and bad times.

Also, try to talk to a friend, or someone that you trust, tell them about the relationship and your feelings. Telling someone about the pain helps you see through it and navigate it better.

Your financial stability comes next. Whether you’re a working woman or not, it’s important to have your own monthly income so that you can save some that would help you leave whenever you’re ready. And if you do work and he takes your money, make sure to take it back gradually so he wouldn’t hurt you.

It’s important in this phase to make an exit plan and to focus on your financial resources. What do you actually have and what do you still need?

Third and most importantly, seek professional help. It is available in all ranges, in public hospitals like el demerdash, ain shams, and el qasr el ainy for low cost, and with therapists and consultants for a certain budget a session. Choose what fits your lifestyle and work on getting better to be able to break up, and know that you have to learn in this stage to dissociate yourself from the relationship and stop the harm until you manage to leave.

The last thing you have to do is realize that his abuse is not your fault. You don’t deserve it, it doesn’t mean you are weak. You deserve a happy and safe life. And your awareness of the abuse and the harm you are being subjected to stems from your high self respect and self image.

Be sure that it is ok and perfectly normal to be afraid of what’s coming, because it is unknown for you and you don’t know what tomorrow might hold. But if you focus on a better today, it'll lead you to a better and safe tomorrow. Stay safe and think about it.