Watch your boundaries!
A lot of us use this phrase while angry and fighting, but we never really think about those boundaries. What are the boundaries that we need to hold ourselves to along with those surrounding us? What are these boundaries useful for? What is the difference between positive boundaries and negative boundaries? We need to ask ourselves all these questions, let’s delve into the matter of boundaries together.
There are 4 types of boundaries; physical, moral, emotional and spiritual boundaries.
Basically, we know that we have healthy boundaries when we feel safe on all levels and that we are not being used by anyone, or no one is invading our personal space and we don’t feel guilty towards keeping our boundaries and saving our energy to increase our productivity and our spirits feel high and we feel truly happy about ourselves. We also feel respectful and respected. And as a result, we get to build healthy relationships with all those around us.
These are the positive boundaries, what about the negative ones? These are the things we feel guilty and ashamed of, we feel angry, exhausted and imprisoned in relationships that we may get depressed or anxious about. Be aware that no one would love you more if you take down your guard and remove your boundaries. No one would respect you if you cannot respect yourself.
Now we know what boundaries are and the difference between healthy boundaries and abusive ones. The logical question after that is how to apply those boundaries on our lives? The easiest way is to be clear, honest, and not ashamed of talking about what is bothering us because we have the right to be bothered. Also, learn to say no to anything that is bothering you or using up your energy. And not wait for others' acceptance because you just might never get it. On the contrary, they’d refuse repeatedly to respect your boundaries and try many times to breach it. They might also tend to make you feel guilty or criticize you. What is most important here is to insist on your boundaries several times and assert them as many times as you need until it is accepted and applied.
That’s regarding other people. What about your boundaries toward yourself? How can you achieve those? Do you respect yourself or do you abuse it as well?
Your boundaries with yourself can be summarized in working your ass off to be better on all the levels of your life. And to commit to please yourself as much as you can. The best example of committing to a better healthy lifestyle is to eat the food that your body really needs, and to do the activities that you love whether it is arts and crafts or a sport. So your productivity would improve because you are happier now, and able to achieve the goals you set for yourselves, whether short term or long term.
Remember that boundaries are not just for the people around you, it is to yourself as well. When you learn to keep your own boundaries, you force the people around you to respect it as well.
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